I bought this for my Peanut. It was my second pregnancy & I was still blissfully ignorant to the reality of miscarriage. This is the first thing that I saw & fell in love with and knew that I had to have it for this baby. I could already see my baby bug all warm and snug for bedtime wearing this very sleeper...
I pulled out my box of a few baby items that I had bought for Peanut today. Blueberry doesn't have a box. :/ I couldn't bring myself to buy any baby clothes during my 3rd pregnancy until we had made it to the 2nd trimester. Tragically, we didn't make it past 7 weeks. My plan today was to add the clothes I had been buying for the Bean to the outfits I already had from Peanut. And then I saw this sleeper... And it opened up unexpected floodgates of sadness and grief for me.
The evening we found out that Peanut was lifeless floating inside of me, I fell asleep clutching this tiny sleeper. I cried heavily & deeply into it's fabric until I passed out. I realized that I would never see my Peanut wearing that sleeper to bed. Or see him smile. Or hold him warm against my chest. I clung to this sleeper like it was Peanut himself...
Today I hugged that sleeper against my chest again. And I cried heavily and deeply into it's fabric. Pregnancy doesn't make the ache go away... I still miss the babies that I will never get to meet in this life.
