Frugal Foodie Mama: Infertility Impostor...

Monday, April 25, 2011

Infertility Impostor...

The arrival of National Infertility Awareness Week has me pondering again- where do I fit in?  What am I?  Because sometimes I feel like an impostor- supporting infertility awareness, posting links about infertility on my Facebook page, but not really "fitting in" to the atypical infertile woman mold. 

I have never experienced in-vitro fertilization.  I have never had to jab shots in my ass.  I have never needed to "trigger my follies".  I have never had to experience the dreaded two week wait with the additional burden of thousands of dollars lost if I didn't see a plus sign when I peed on a stick at the end of the wait.  But I know so many lovely ladies who have had to endure all of those things... And I wish them to have a baby as badly as I wish it for myself.

I am a survivor of two miscarriages.  Two consecutive miscarriages.  I am, by medical definition, not infertile.  I can get pregnant.  Staying pregnant seems to be a different story...
And I am still struggling to find the answers as to why I can't seem to carry my babies past the first trimester.  All tests so far have come back a-okay.  So, I still don't know what, if anything is "wrong" with me.  I have no label, no category, no "clique" to belong to really...
And for that, I find that my situation, my feelings, my fears are not as understood by my family and friends as say a woman who has a clear cut label- oh, she has trouble ovulating.  Or, she has endometriosis.  The medical community has told them what is wrong with them, and people seem to understand and empathize more when a concrete, professional explanation for their problems conceiving has been ordained.

I would say our common thread in all of this- those who struggle with diagnosed infertility issues, those who have unexplained infertility, those of us I like to call struggling fertiles- is that we all have the desire and yearning TO BE A MOTHER.  And I believe that is where we all "fit in".  :)