Being Real & Open About What It's Like to Nurse a Toddler...

This post is not a debate of breastfeeding versus formula feeding, or when a child should or should not be weaned.  I am sharing my experience with you all as an extended nursing mama. Please keep comments respectful and kind. Thank you.

Extended breastfeeding.

Toddler nursing.

Breastfeeding past one year old, two years old, three years old...

It really isn't talked about much, is it?

Just like nursing in public, it is also often seen as a taboo topic of discussion.

But I have found that when I do talk about it, quite a few mamas come out and say, "Hey, me too!" or... "I am still nursing my two year old..." or... "I wish my son/daughter had breastfed past a year." or..."I nursed my now 18 year old until he was 3."

So many mamas out there silently nursing their one, two, three year olds... But we never talk about it.  And because we do not talk about it, I do not think we realize just how normal and common extended breastfeeding really is.

But today I am talking about it.

Breastfeeding- What I Have Learned the Second Time Around (And I Wish I Had Known the First Time Around)

Thirteen years had passed since I had breastfed a baby when my baby girl arrived last February.  I had read a couple of books, trying to brush up on my knowledge and my skills.  But I felt like a brand spanking new mom who had never nursed an infant before those first couple of weeks of her life.  I had to relearn EVERYTHING.  Sadly for me breastfeeding was NOT like learning to ride a bicycle.  

You apparently do forget.

In the past 11 months, I have learned new things that I didn't get the first time around.  Here are a few things I wish I had known from the get-go with BOTH of my nurslings- when I had first breastfed my son over 14 years ago, and now with my daughter...

Throw out the idea of a schedule!  Well, at least as long as you can.  Breastfed babies need to feed on demand.  Just like our appetites are not the same every single day, neither is a baby's.  And feeding schedules definitely do not work when baby hits a growth spurt!  I breastfed my son for 9 1/2 months.  We did scheduled feedings- about once every 3 hours.  Even if he wasn't hungry.  Even if he had been crying because he had been hungry for the past 30 minutes (but it hadn't been 3 hours yet!).  I understand that feeding on demand is not something every mother has the luxury of doing 100% of the time.  Some breastfeeding mothers go back to work and pump and the babies get bottles during the day.  But in the beginning, breastfeed on demand while you are home. And when you return to work, breastfeed on demand when you are home.

Don't panic!  Especially when baby seems to want to nurse constantly.  Many breastfeeding mamas panic because they think that baby keeps coming back to the breast because they are not getting enough milk.  And then they start to second guess their ability to provide for their baby.  Just stop right there.  Baby is probably hitting a growth spurt and baby knows to nurse more often so that your body gets the signal to start making more milk.  Your production will more than likely catch up with their demand in 1 or 2 days, so hang tight.  Trust that your body will provide.

Surround yourself with as many supportive people as you can, and tune out the naysayers.  The biggest derailment to almost every mother who decides to breastfeed is lack of support from those around her.  You all know who I am talking about.  The ones that question if your baby is eating enough, gaining enough weight.  The ones who keep telling you how much easier it would be if you would just switch to formula. (Easier for whom??  Ummmm... sterilizing bottles every day, mixing formula every day, getting up at 3am to warm a bottle?  NOT easier.)  Find supportive friends and family!  And if you can't, make a connection with a good lactation consultant, find support online (Two good ones?  KellyMom.com and The Leaky Boob.  Also use the hashtag #bfcafe on Twitter. ;) )  It is also important to make sure that your pediatrician is breastfeeding friendly.  If they are not and only discourage your efforts, drop that doc right away and ask for recommendations for another.  Your LC or midwife is a great person to ask for those kinds of recs.

Let go of the fantasy.  Breastfeeding is not all rainbows, and snuggles, and unicorns. Especially in the beginning.  It can be challenging at first. (To read more about baby girl and I's bumpy start to breastfeeding, click HERE.)  Sometimes it hurts.  Sometimes it is frustrating.  Sometimes all you want to do is just sleep already!  But guess what??  IT IS ALL WORTH IT for all those moments of pure bliss.  Of satisfaction knowing that you are providing the best nutrition you can for your little one.  The indescribable moments of bonding.  Just because it isn't going absolutely perfect all of the time, does NOT mean you are doing something wrong.  It is normal.  Just like everything else in our lives.  I mean, does everything else in your life happen perfectly 100% of the time?? Yeah, I didn't think so. ;)

There is no "prescribed" length of time to breastfeed.  It will be different for each baby, each mother, each nursing pair.  Honestly, I stopped breastfeeding my son at 9 1/2 months because I thought I was expected to once he had cut teeth and had bit me once.  Now I know better.  With baby girl, my initial nursing goal was 12 months so that she would never have formula.  That is important to me.  We are at 11 months, and she has shown little interest in completely weaning in 30 days.  So, I will be revamping my nursing goal for her soon.  There is nothing wrong with being flexible.  Whether you nursed for 2 weeks, 3 1/2 months, a year, or 3, take pride in the fact that you did what was best for you and your baby.  And don't let anyone else tell you any different. ;)

Nursing cures baby's hiccups.  I didn't discover this when I was breastfeeding my son, but kind of accidentally stumbled on this little nugget with my daughter.  She had the hiccups and happened to be hungry at the same time.  Within a few minutes of sucking, the hiccups were gone.  The next time she had the hiccups, I latched her on and ta-da!  Gone again in just a few minutes.  Works every time like a charm. ;)

To my mamas who are now breastfeeding #2 or #3 (or 4 or 5), what had you wish you had known the first time around with nursing?

Breastfeeding Mama Essentials Giveaway- Ends 6/25/12

As those of you who have been following along with my motherhood journey through this blog (or Twitter or Facebook) know, breastfeeding is an issue and a task that is close to my heart- literally and figuratively. ;)  I breastfed my son for 9 1/2 months over 13 years ago, and I have been breastfeeding my daughter since she was born in February. My goal is to breastfeed her until at least 12 months. Once we meet that goal, then we will go from there. I have been fortunate enough to have received more than enough of the essentials I needed for breastfeeding my daughter, and I want to pass on some of that good fortune to one lucky mama to help her accomplish her goal of breastfeeding.

Included in this prize package is a My Brest Friend nursing pillow, a Baby Blind breastfeeding cover, and a 60 count box of Hygeia Nursing Pads.  All the essentials to get you started!  Please note, this giveaway has not been sponsored by any of the companies named above.  I am not getting paid for this. I am just wanting to pass along the good fortune. :)

The My Brest Friend pillow came highly recommended by many experienced breastfeeding mamas.  I had high hopes that we would love it- I did.  Baby girl did not.  But I know many mamas who swear by this pillow.  We tried it a couple of times, but baby girl preferred our other nursing pillow (still does!).  What I like about this pillow is the lower back support for mama and the very neat pocket attached to the front for stashing a snack for you, or a burp cloth, or a cell phone.  For more information on the My Brest Friend nursing pillow, click here.

A nursing cover can be an essential for the new mama unsure of nursing in public, and can be a great way to ease into it.  Trust me, with enough practice you and baby will get good at doing it quickly and discreetly, and confidently.  The Baby Blind breastfeeding cover has flexible boning at the top so you can stay covered while being able to peek down at baby.

And every new breastfeeding mama needs nursing pads.  Some mamas find that they may even need them before baby officially arrives. ;)  Included in this prize package is a 60 count box of Hygeia nursing pads.  For more information on Hygeia products, click here.

So, how can you win this Breastfeeding Mama Essentials prize package?  Using the Rafflecopter form below, start with leaving a comment on this post.  If you are an experienced breastfeeding mama, comment below with your best piece of advice for a new nursing mama.  If you are brand new to breastfeeding, comment below on what your biggest worry or concern about nursing is.  The blog comment is mandatory, will earn you 2 entries, and will open up the Rafflecopter to additional ways you can gain entries.
This giveaway ends on June 25, 2012 at 12:01am, and is open to US residents only.  There will only be 1 winner of this prize package.  Please see the Terms & Conditions below for more details.


What is my best piece of advice for new breastfeeding mamas?  

Be gentle with yourself and baby.  Have patience.  It may take a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but you and baby can get this.  And never hesitate to ask for help if you need it- from a nurse, a lactation consultant, an experienced friend, an online community, anywhere you can get good advice and support.  And even if you have a rough start, just persevere.  Baby girl & I had a bumpy start.  Click here for our breastfeeding story- Our Bumpy Breastfeeding Start

a Rafflecopter giveaway