Today, I am honored to have my dear friend Audrey guest posting on my blog to help raise awareness for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. Audrey & I "met" on Twitter. We connected just a few months after my second miscarriage as she had just started suffering through her second loss. You can find Audrey blogging over at Stuff Audrey Says. In today's post, Audrey speaks as to why you shouldn't always assume that other mothers have no clue of what your grief and heartbreak feels like...
*Also do not forget to enter to win the beautiful Shades of Awareness Custom Infertility/Miscarriage Awareness Necklace on my blog HERE.
I attended a yoga workshop a few weeks ago. A woman I had never met placed her mat next to mine and we began to talk. I don't want to tell you too much about her, but her story ended like this:
"...and then I went into labor."
I remembered. I remembered the doctors telling me that my babies had no heartbeats. I remembered that I would never get to hold them, and I instantly resented her for having what I didn't.
It wasn't until weeks later that I learned her whole story, and that her baby was born full-term, but sleeping. Still. She knew the same pain I did.
I sat with my mouth hanging open, dumbfounded. I, of all people, judged her. I judged myself. I knew even then how common pregnancy and stillbirth was, and yet I assumed that she had an infant waiting for her at home with a babysitter.
I should have hugged her, not judged her. I am ashamed that, in my bitterness, I jumped to conclusions so quickly. There could have been healing there, comfort even, but instead there was judgment. My thoughts spun as I listened to the rest of her story.
What I thought I knew, but learned again that day, is this: you just never know.
One in four women will experience loss. You'd think that someone like me, who had experienced the loss of a child three times, would know that.
Reach across the mat. I wish I had.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Audrey is a three-time miscarriage survivor and blogs about life as she knows it over at www.stuffaudreysays.com. She works an 8-to-5 and loves all things canine and graphic design. Please go say hello!