Frugal Foodie Mama: The Opening of Pandora's Womb...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Opening of Pandora's Womb...

As I was sitting at the lab today getting vile after vile of blood drawn, I started to panic a little.  One of those tiny viles of blood could have the answer in it.  The reason why I have lost two babies this past year.  *Gulp*

I pray that the answer is a simple fix.  But what if it isn't?  What if I am about to open Pandora's Womb here?  What if I am about to lose a blissful ignorance that I can never return to?
Obviously, I am am aware of what can go wrong during a pregnancy, so I am not entirely blissfully ignorant.  But now I could be finding out what is wrong with me.  And once I know there is something wrong with me, I can't ever go back to not knowing that something is wrong with me.  

But I have to know.  I must know why.  Even if I do not like the answers that I get. 

So, I am going to open Pandora's Womb fully knowing that once it is opened I can't close it again.  I am going to wait for my blood panel results.  I am going to have my saline hysterogram next week. 

In the Greek myth, Pandora's curiosity gets the best of her and she opens the jar.  You know, the one she is never supposed to open?  (And yes, it was really a jar and not a box.)  All things evil escape, and she would not be able to recollect those things and shove them back in the jar.  But when she looked back into what she thought was a now empty jar, she saw that one thing still remained there- Hope.

6 comments :

  1. I hope you get answers. I also had two losses this year, and asked my RE to run every possible test to try and figure out why. After giving many vials of blood and having them poke around my uterus some more (as if they haven't already explored ever corner of it)his diagnosis: Bad luck and just need that "one good egg." So frustrating.

    wishing you the best.

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  2. Here is to all of us getting pregnant and having beautiful babies even if we don't always get the answers we seek.
    Jess- have you ever got a second opinion? It can never hurt. Sometimes another doctor is able to see something that another could not.

    I am not that scared really of finding out what is wrong with me, if anything... I am more scared of finding out that something is wrong, and that it can be treated, but insurance won't cover it, or only part of it. My fear is we will find out that we could have a baby, but maybe we won't have the financial means to make it happen... *sigh* My fiance tells me not to worry about it. We will have done what needs to be done and worry about the bills later.
    And all this worrying already is silly because we haven't even found out anything yet...

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  3. I get the money thing, too. DH has been unemployed since November and although our health care covers some of the basic tests, I know it doesn't cover everything. I'm not even really sure we will be able to afford the tests to find the problem. :( I have no idea what we will do at that point.

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  4. We are just bracing ourselves for some bills at this point. I had the whole plethora of blood tests done last week and I am almost certain that some of those will not be covered. We are just forging ahead for now.

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  5. Well, I'm hoping you get your answer before too long.

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